The Wasphouse

Update --

O'dear, o'dear
It does do appear
That in Scotland, see,
Not to you and me
The word that is "blog"
means (to those in a "fog")
something like "essay"
or maybe report ...
So if you plan to submit to
the "Sunday Herald" from anywhere
other than the "Home of MacLeod,"
Abort.
Abort.

When I was a young lad of not much height,
I didn't travel but had space to run around.
Though I never went to Scotland, I dreamt at night
of kissing that stone with my head upside down.
I grew up with and learned from Scott, my big brother,
that life is all one big "Scottland," a place
full of whatever you want with none of the other,
no borders and all open space.

For me, Scottland means one simple thing.
It means what Shakespeare had said.
It means that all the whole world's a stage where we sing
until we quit or we're dead.

So, now why would an American,
a full-blooded Yank,
write a blog about Scotland, you ask?
It's because of The Sunday Herald's
offer: a nice room,
a stiff drink,
and a class.

"That's where you come in," they said to me
and as they laid out the rules for their game,
and as I read their words from a couch in Italy
I thought "Oh they're SO calling my name."

They said "So! You think you can blog?"
I thought "Sure I can! But - uhhm ... no, wait ...
... do I qualify for the drink, the class and the nap?
I think so but it doesn't so state!"

You see, when I realized this "Herald" was in Scotland,
and not in the Beantown I've never seen
I thought "How could I know of Scotland's arts
or of Scotland's 'creative scene?'

But, that's when I remembered what I learned in Scottland:
it's all the same no matter what country you're in.
So blogs on the Internet can be posted to and from anywhere,
and it doesn't matter that I'm American.

It doesn't matter that I've never been to a place
that I'd love to, but never, have seen.
It doesn't matter that there's 1,343 miles
between Naples and Aberdeen.

What matters is that, no matter what anyone says,
not even that 'Braveheart' guy, Mel,
Scotland's a beautiful place to see and behold
and naysayers can all go to ...
Google.Com and look at Scotland themselves.

To the Editors of 'The Sunday Herald' I say:
I hope you enjoyed this piece!
I'd love to blog a sequel but I'd need to stay
in the modern land you call 'Scotland'
with no borders and only 1 not two "t's."

-- JM